Is love enough?

We are in the midst of wedding season. So, since we’re getting to know one another, I thought it would be fun to share the story of how my husband and I met. Plus, who doesn’t enjoy a good love story?! The significance of this story in my life isn’t just the cliché love story about how a man and woman met, fell in love, and got married. It goes way beyond that. The story of how I met my husband, and the months that followed that moment, symbolizes a pivotal moment in my life. Have you ever had a moment that, as you look back on it, you realize how lifechanging it was? That one decision, or one experience, that ends up playing a crucial role in your story. For me, one of those moments was entwined in the unexpected love story that unfolded in my life.

A New Year's to remember

It was New Year’s Eve 2009. I was with many of my dear friends at a New Year’s Eve celebration at my church. And then I met him. Tim Reneau. I had heard the name many times as the majority of his family went to our church, and one of his brothers was the leader of our young adults group. Tim was home for Christmas, having just spent a year overseas in combat. He was talking with a mutual friend and, as I passed by them, something about their conversation grabbed my attention, so we chatted for a bit. And that was that. I moved on to chat with more friends and enjoy the party, all the while thinking he seemed like a nice enough guy.

We connected on Facebook the next day and ended up chatting for a bit. (Keep in mind this was back when instant chatting was relatively new. Kinda makes me feel old.) And that was where it all started.

The start of something new

Over the course of the next week we ended up chatting online for hours each night. What started as enjoying getting to know someone quickly had evolved into those fluttery feelings where you eagerly await the next interaction. He was interesting, funny, and I was just really enjoying our conversations. That week quickly passed and I learned it was about time for him to head back overseas. That evening, our online chat unexpectedly turned into an actual phone call (I know, I know…we were so wild, ha!) and we ended up talking for….wait for it…12 hours. Yes, you read that right…12 HOURS.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. Who in the world could talk for 12 hours straight? Most of which was ON THE PHONE?! I often think the same thing. That just goes to show how much we were enjoying getting to know one another. We talked about everything you could possibly think of that night. And then it was time for him to go. And, thankfully it was Saturday because it was now 9:00 AM and I needed to get some sleep!

Separated by an ocean

We committed to staying in touch as best we could and just “seeing what happened”. I mean… he was going to be living on a different continent, and this was before “Facetime” was really a thing, and all of this was completely out of the blue for me, so that’s where we left it.

And we did keep in touch. The time difference made it so the only time we could really talk on the phone was early morning for me, and nighttime for him. So we did our best. Between calls and emails, I was continuing to enjoy getting to know this man.

Reunited and it feels so good

Did the Peaches & Herb song pop into your head, too?

Three months later he was restationed (stateside!!!!) so I planned a trip to go visit him a couple months later. Then, he visited me over the summer and again in the fall. And that’s when he proposed. In the midst of all that was a growing bond, and a growing frustration with the difficulties of a long-distance relationship. But, before I get into that, this is where the whole “pivotal moment” fits in. You see, this whole time I’m enjoying getting to know

this amazing guy, I’m also trying to figure out what I’m supposed to do with all of this stuff that is in no way, shape, or form fitting into the life I had imagined.

Can you relate? I had a great job, a fantastic church where I was very involved in ministry, and I loved my life. In Kansas City. But the other part of my life that I loved was living on the east coast. And can I just tell you that long distance relationships are hard. Really hard. Especially before video chat was really a thing. And we were getting really weary of it.

Love is...patient

Tim claims that he knew he was going to marry me when he left to go back overseas. Yes, a week after we met. And while that may seem quick, I was on the other end of the spectrum. I wasn’t so quick to reach the same conclusion. I tend to be someone who over-analyzes even small situations or decisions and the decision to pick up my life and move halfway across the country was not a small decision! My heart wanted it. So bad. But I also wanted to be wise and ensure that any decisions made were led by the Lord and not my emotions.

So I prayed..and prayed…and prayed some more. For months. And Tim was…well, patient. My heart had peace with it. Mutual friends were blessing the relationship. Tim was obviously on board. But for some reason I was just still not feeling like I could officially make any major decisions. I was bound and determined to receive clear confirmation from the Lord before moving forward with anything. And the only sure way I could think of to receive this confirmation without worry that my emotions were getting in the way was for God Himself to speak to me through His word. So that’s what I was praying for.

"THE" moment I had been waiting for

And then it happened. I was on a canoe trip with the young adults and international students at our church. A group of us were walking through the woods and I was speaking with my ministry leader, voicing frustration over the complications that come with a long-distance relationship. And he started talking about the story in the book of Deuteronomy when God tells Moses it’s time for Israel to enter the Promised Land. They had been wandering in the desert for 40 years and that 40 years was a time of refining for them. Hardship teaches us great lessons and can be used to produce much growth and fruit if we allow it to. But the time had finally arrived. The time of wandering in the wilderness was over and it was time for them to move forward with their lives and receive the promised blessing from God.

And that was all it took. Chills filled my body, and at the same time I could literally feel the weight being lifted off my shoulders. The most intense sense of peace and surety came over me and I knew without an ounce of doubt what the right answer was. I had never felt such an undoubtedly clear message from God and knew exactly what He was telling me. I finally felt as though the obstacles had fallen and the path was wide open.

The proposal

One month later, Tim was home for a visit and he proposed in the sweetest, most personal-to-me way. More on that another day, but it was just perfect. He put so much thought into it. Not only did this man love me, he knew me…like really knew me. And that felt so good.

With the help of my mom and sister-in-law, I planned the bulk of our wedding in about two months, moved to Virginia right after Christmas, and then we flew home four months later for our wedding.

I’m exhausted just thinking about all of that. Such a crazy time of life. But it was filled with so much beauty that made the crazy absolutely worth it.

Check Point

So why was that message from God such a pivotal moment for me? Because of what was to come. I obviously didn’t know it at the time, but there were some rough roads ahead. Rougher than I would have ever imagined. The events that have unfolded over the last 10 years have at many times felt impossible…overwhelming to the point of hopelessness. Had I not received such a clear word from God about marrying Tim, and the timeline it involved, I would have undoubtedly questioned if I had made the right decision.

I like to think of that moment in the woods as my check point that I can go back to and know with certainty that I am in fact on the right path.

Is the right path always easy? No. Does the right path always look like what you expected? Nope. But is the right path where you want to be? Absolutely.

You see, it was these rough roads that brought me to a place where I realized being healthy isn’t just about the physical health I had been pursuing. True health is all-encompassing. It involves not just physical health, but mental, emotional, and spiritual health. And they’re all equally important.

Real talk

So, is love enough? I dare to say no. Love is a choice, an important one. And so is faith. I honestly don’t know if we would have been able to survive some of these rough roads if we didn’t have a firm commitment to our wedding vows and faith in the One who holds our marriage in His hands. Even in the hardest of days, I had a clear sense of peace knowing that my God would work all of this out. In one way or another. And whatever He saw fit to do would be good. He was, and is, in control. Sometimes letting go and trusting feels harder than anything, but it’s really the only way to do it.

If you find yourself in a hard season, I hope you can be encouraged that you’re not alone. Our hard seasons can look a lot different, but my prayer is that this community will be a place where people with different situations and struggles, different goals and dreams, and different beliefs can find a little bit of solidarity and hope in a world that can quite honestly feel just plain hard at times. Yes, my heart is to share tips for living a healthy, frugal, and fulfilled life. But I want more than that. I want to connect with you and share this thing called life with as much transparency and “realness” as possible. I want to offer light and truth to propel you to keep moving forward one day at a time. I want to help make life seem a little less overwhelming and a little more doable.

So, I’m here. If you have questions, or just need someone to talk to, I would love to hear from you. You can reach me here.

Much love,

Kristi